You really only understand how drunk you are when you’re peeing
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST
the worst feeling in the world is flirting with a guy and he gives his number to your friend
even if u stop listening to me i will still keep talking
Cosmo sex tip #394: Once your man reaches orgasm, awkwardly embrace him and whisper “well done Draco.”
making a new f riend
reaLIZING TOO LATE THAT YOU DONT WANT TO BE FRIENDS W/ THEM
basically every single person I met since I moved.